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Frequently asked questions

Are you really in "The Lifestye?"


Duh. The only way you found this site is because a) I told you about this site
b) you got something with this website on it at a lifestyle event
c) you linked here through a lifestyle related website
d) we had sex
e) all of the above. This site isn’t listed anywhere else, because I don’t need this shit on a real search engine.




What's Your Real Name?


When you’re ready to hire me, I’ll be more than happy to put that information on a W-9. Until then, the only reason you’re able to browse this site is because my mother thinks “Google” is an eye condition.




Are you really a Dominatrix?


Yes. However, I wasn’t when I first started doing comedy, or when I originally got into swinging. The name “Dominatrix of Ditties” came about because I’m a word freak and I like alliteration, which refers to the repetition of a particular sound in the first syllables of a series of words or onamatopenis. It’s when a word imitates or suggests the source or soul of a penis. But neither of these has anything to do with being a Dominatrix. After being a swinger for 3+ years, friends in the lifestyle introduced me to the fetish side of things and I quickly figured out that I was into “kinkery” too. In fact, you should be punished for reading this. And you will.




Is it okay if I heckle you during a show?


I’m one of the good comics in life that doesn’t need to make fun of YOU to do a show. I actually spent time writing material, I have something to say and I don’t enjoy belittling people, which I know is weird for a Dominatrix. Sit back and enjoy the show, I won’t call you out. However, before you try heckling me – just remember I have spent the better part of two decades thinking up insults and comebacks for the ignorant, inebriated, and ignorantly inebriated. I will gladly allow you a few seconds of fame before I testify that I’ve seen you naked and that your dick is smaller than a Fun Size Snickers. If you’re a real asshole, I will dress up as the Dominatrix, follow you to work and ask your co-workers “Where is he? That little bitch owes me money.”




Does your Dominatrix show contain profanity?


Yes, it will. So will conversations you have with me. It’s just how I am. Sorry, Fucker.




Do you do
non-lifestyle comedy?


Absolutely! Please visit www.princessofparodies.com




Do you do comedy for kids?


Fuck no.




I want to hire you for a show. What do you charge?


I usually charge a flat show fee plus travel expenses. That fee depends on the answers to these questions: When is the show? Where is the show? What kind of venue? (Banquet room, bar, restaurant, etc.) How many people do you expect to be in attendance? What sounds and light equipment will you have, and what will I need to bring?




What are you performance requirements?


In order to do a great show, I need the following: An indoor venue where there are minimal distractions. (This is really, really, really important.) Banquet rooms, theaters, and small restaurants work well. A stage – no more than 18” high (ground floor is fine), at least 8 ft x 8 ft. A sound system. (I have one I can bring) A spot light. (I have one I can bring) Ample seating, and close to the stage. Small tables are nice for drinks, but not necessary.




How long is your show?


I can do 30, 45 or 60 minutes, depending on the size of the audience and what precedes and follows my show.




How long have you been doing comedy?


I did my first open mic on September 12, 2002. I began headlining smaller comedy clubs in 2007. I started doing lifestyle comedy in 2009.




I want to be a volunteer in your stage show. Will I cluck like a chicken?


Making someone cluck like a chicken is a huge waste of my time. I can shake your hand and you can experience an orgasm...wouldn't you rather have that?